March 2011
2 posts
Episode 1: Bowling Rink and BBQ
Patrick and Alaina sit down for their first podcast, talking about life true love and chicken skin.
February 2011
1 post
January 2011
1 post
Watch
August 2010
4 posts
“Be a finisher. The world has enough starters.”
– Tweet I saw in a PowerPoint
What is it that makes me go play ping pong when...
July 2010
5 posts
I get pissed when my old lady lies to me, she gets...
This lyric I can't get out of my head.
Love is a wonderful thang, something something like the pouring rain. Love is a wonderful thang.
I like sitting in my back yard while my dog snorts around late at night. Mostly because I like looking in the neighbors windows. feel free to play the add your own apostrophes game.
June 2010
2 posts
December 2009
2 posts
“WebMD just called me fat.”
“Listening to Carlos Mencia is like listening to a co-worker tell you about old...”
June 2009
3 posts
CHASE - Preparation prevents piss poor...
Sitting in the back corner of this dive drowning my thoughts in half a dozen cupcakes, a thousand questions run through my head with only one answer: enjoy these cupcakes while you can.
Whodunit? And whydunit? And wheredunit? I already knew one of the answers, because I was there and I saw it with my own eyes, about the other two I didn’t know but I was about to find out, Ricky would...
CHASE - This just got personal.
It’s too quiet. And dark. My name is Detective McArooatew and this is what I do; I listen, and feel, and watch. Like a hawk or an Osprey or something. Chalk was trapped in that warehouse and I knew it. I knew Chalk was a dead man, well, woman, whatever. Chalk was too pretty to die, and I loved her and I never told her and I didn’t even know her last name, or if her first name was...
Five Guys....redux
After some days to separate myself from the situation I have decided that Five Guys, is good not great. It isn’t something where I would go out of my way just to get, but it is a good burger and fries.
May 2009
6 posts
Five Guys...
Five Guys: What'll you have?
Me: Heaven on a burger please.
Five Guys: You want fries with that?
Chicago map art
A year ago I bought this print of a map of Chicago neighborhoods, I loved it and framed it. Listen, I’m not going to blame the artist for making a living but now that it’s a poster every douche in this city has it hanging next to their bob marley poster, and…well it cheapens it for me doesn’t it.
YouTube Beached Whale
When I was in Ireland all of the Australians I was hanging out with would loose their shit when they watched this movie. The movie makes fun of New Zealanders, the Australians think they sound funny. AUSTRALIANS THINK SOMEONE ELSE’S ACCENTS ARE FUNNY!
IF I WERE THE PRESIDENT
Well, I can’t promise many things but, I. CAN. PROMISE. YOU. THIS… Nacho cheese would find its way towards the top of the condiment list at every restaraunt accross this great nation!
People of this holy nation, put me in the White House and I will not make promises that I cannot come through on, just know that.
5 tags
March 2009
3 posts
POP ROCK
The life and times of Hank Thumbdrop seems blessed. Crazy frontman of the hottest hardest corest rock band in the world Hank has everything; drugs, women, anything else he wants.
But Thumbdrop has a secret. He is the producer for such young disney stars as Hannah Montana and Raven Simon. You see Hank loves pre teen pop! And he is tired of living the lie day in and day out of orgies and hard...
LOVE AND FORESTRY
A backdrop of sweeping pine forests and the beautiful Cascade mountain ranges, set the tone for this probing character study. Tilly a past his prime forester is trying to deal with his issues of mortality and goiters. Disgruntled, this temperamental forester has his world rocked by Peerless, and rambunctious urban preteen. When Peerless’ pup is crushed by a mighty pine felled by Tilly,...
February 2009
1 post
METROPOMODEL
This is a story all about how Laney, an up and coming model got her big break from Metropolis! Laney went on to mega super model stardom and Metropolis, well has anyone ever heard of Metropolis?
January 2009
3 posts
A LIFE WITH DISEASE.COM
A sales executive for a multi-National drug conglomorate is on top of the world literally creating her own success selling drugs to third world governments not caring about who she ruined. All that changed when she recieved and email from a prince of one of these countries, he was trying to give back you see and if she could just give him her bank account number she could recieve the money.
A REAL NAIL BITER
A scathing portrayal about people who live in the suburbs. Fuck those people.
TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE
A hot shot salesman is thrust into a situation where he needs to use his skills to…SAVE THE WORLD! Does he learn about life and love or do we all die?
December 2008
11 posts
a hot dog vendor
with a heart of gold, saves a small boy from a terrible death. Death by decapitation. The boy becomes the hot dog vendor’s apprentice. Some years later the boy has become a young man and and he has a falling out with the hot dog vendor because he has become a very prideful man.
And the two have to compete for the annual best hot dog vendor competition.
Is anyone even reading this...
Street Savior
Brian Furthing is a man. He is a man and he is also an accountant. He is a man an accountant and he is a member of the rotary club. Brian Furthing has a past though, a dark and dangerous pas that will one day catch up to him. Today is that day. You see as a young man Brian was terribly addicted to crack cocain. His girlfriend it turns out got pregnant all those years ago and because of her...
A holiday tear jerker
It’s wintertime in Sumerset, KY. As the snow falls upon the tree’s Ronald Gardiner faces a decision that may affect the rest of his life. Does he leave his wife and kids behind, fake his own death, then run away to specialize in the botany of southwest Uganda? Or, does he continue on to the Price ‘n Pride for that milk he forgot?
This one is timely
A young financial analyst wants to impress his bosses so he….You’ll have to tune in to find out.
Kind of like Wicked but...
I was thinking a movie about how Cruella got the way she was. I guess it’s kind of like Wicked, but it turns out Cruella is a psychopath and she killed small animals throughout her childhood. But what really sent her over the edge was in 6th grade she got put on the blue team for volleyball. Everyone knows the gold team was the varsity squad.
An animated feature.
This “hungry hungry hippo” means business when she decides to make it as a Sous Chef in one of the finest resteraunts in New York City. Hijinks ensue as this small town hippo learns about life and love in the big city!
an obvious one
how come we havent been blessed with a live action version of Yogi Bear? If we have the technology to pull off gentle ben, then we sure as shit can get this project off the ground. Richard N. Gladstein do you not even read this blog?!
I was thinking
I feel like I may have Vin Diesel’s next project.
It’s about a man who you never really find out much about but he has to protect this small meadow from these developers. The developers want to put a strip mall on it or want to drill for oil or something and he has to get down and dirty to protect it.
Think XXX meets Fern Gully.
’s pretty good right?
What would you do?
If you found youself in your works bathroom stall with what is most accurately described as massive anal bleeding?
What I did was continue reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the third time.
My new rule.
Hey America, can we stop fucking around with ourselves and get our shit together? I’m sick of worrying about how I’ll handle another great depression. Bitches.
Sunday night bummers
Sunday nights bum me out, there’s never anything on the tv, and I can never get to sleep before 2am.
Maybe I’ll finally finish that sitcom idea I had.
A man is an airline pilot, but here’s the twist, he is a prolific orgamist.
November 2008
9 posts
I was thinking of writing a song...
It’s about a girl I work with named Odette
Odette, drives a Corvette
Plays a trumpet which is similar to a coronet.
She’s a vietnam vet, I know her.
Pretty good start right?
helloadam:
Max Vernon - I Kissed A Girl (Katy...
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